Keeping a clean RPG house

I have solved your gaming conundrum, Matt. And quite possibly also gotten you fired. These things can't be helped, really.

As preparation for an interview I had today, I checked out Kongregate, the so-called "YouTube of gaming." It's a collection of free-to-play games created by independent designers, which are displayed based on the aggregate rating they've received from folks who've played them. In other words, the best-rated games rise to the top, while the junk settles on the bottom where you don't have to deal with it if you don't want to.

I poked around a bit and found a lovely (if at times frustrating) Spot the Differences game called 5 Differences, tried the flash version of Portal yet again (just not the same without GLaDOS), then finally found Monster's Den.

You know how people who claim to have been abducted say they lost time? That suddenly, it was simply hours or days later? I felt that way after playing Monster's Den.

The game is a simple dungeon crawl that boils down to kill stuff, collect loot. There's a story, but it's so thin it makes Paris Hilton look like she should be on The Biggest Loser. You travel through a dungeon's level by clicking from room to room. If a crossed sword icon is in the room, there are monsters in there, waiting to do you harm. If there's a treasure chest, phat lewt awaits. You can explore as much or as little of the level as you want, so long as you find the exit.

Anyone who's played Diablo--this is why I called you out in particular, Matt--understands the addictive nature of killing shit to receive rewards. Especially when said rewards are given varying degrees of rarity.

What's particularly interesting, at least for one who tends to hoard her treasures, dragon-style the way I do, is that you can't sell your swag, or keep very much if it. You have room for 45 items, that's it. So no keeping that sword that you'll probably never use simply because it does 14 points of poison damage on strike or the rare dagger that you might, eventually, equip if you ever decide to stop carrying a shield in your off hand.

You have to keep your treasure trove fairly tidy, which means you'll have to destroy treasure after treasure after treasure. It's kind of liberating, in a way, to find yourself forced to ditch items. Once you get over the nausea of having to destroy a rare pair of boots that provides +2 to endurance, +1 to intelligence and 34% damage reflection, that is.