The Condemned Lost Odyssey

If you've spotted me on Xbox Live lately, you've probably noticed that the bulk of my time has been spent playing Lost Odyssey and, as of this past weekend, Condemned 2. You can find my thoughts about Lost Odyssey over at Crispy Gamer, but what it boils down to is if you like JRPGs, this is one of the best ones you'll find.

Sadly, the same cannot be said about Condemned 2, no matter what your feelings about JRPGs may be.

I adored the first Condemned, in which you work as FBI agent Ethan Thomas to track down serial killer SKX. The plot stops making sense about halfway through the game (what is up with that guy with the bits of metal sticking out of him?) but it did something nearly impossible -- it truly, truly scared me. I love horror movies (not like Matt does, but still), and have seen a lot of them. As a result, so-called "scary" games usually don't affect me very much, but Condemned had my neck in knots from the tension of working my way through a level. The tension drops about three-quarters of the way through the game--about the same time the plot begins to make you go "Hwa?", now that I think about it--but Condemned has the distinction of containing what I consider to be the single scariest moment of any video game I have ever played. Hell, I get creeped out now just thinking about it.

Condemned also had two other elements that I appreciated, though one worked decidedly better than the other. In typical first person shooters, no matter where you are, there always seems to be a handy stash of ammo just when you need it. Doesn't matter if you're prowling through a bakery or a daycare center, a spare clip for your AK-47 is always propped ever so helpfully on the counter. Condemned says no to that by only providing you with a handful of guns, and no extra ammo. What's in the gun is all you get. Sometimes it's ten shots, sometimes it's one. You can pick up all sorts of random detritus to use as a melee weapon though, which not only makes you feel vulnerable (and therefore more frightened) but also makes sure you'll get up close and personal with your attackers. And did I mention that the AI can pick up anything you can, including the guns?

So that worked well. What was less successful were the game's forensic segments, which were dumbed down to the point that they were little more than interactive cinemas. When it came time to examine evidence, your forensic tool was chosen for you and you were flat out told what to do with it. Short of one of the developers actually coming into your house and holding your hand as you played, it was about as gentle as it could have been. It wasn't bad, it didn't make you hate the game, but it did make you wish they'd done something a bit deeper.

So Condemned was flawed, but I loved it and when I learned that a sequel was in the works, I danced around in glee because, I naively figured, they'd take what they learned from the first one and improve upon it right? It'll be Condemned, only better! Wrong.

For starters, it's not scary. Oh, there are moments here and there that are undeniably creepy, but for the most part the atmosphere of Condemned 2 is no different from any other run-of-the-mill first-person-action game. Your life is in danger, sure, but isn't it always in a game? And though the bodies begin piling up relatively quickly, you simply don't care. The first level of the original Condemned sucked you into the story immediately, but the first level of Condemned 2 is a mess whose relevance only becomes clear later in the game. I suppose it's meant to pique your interest, but there's simply nothing interesting about killing monsters made of black goo while your vision is blurred.

Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that while you're still playing as Ethan Thomas, instead of being a likeable FBI agent, you're a mean-tempered drunk and as a result of your heavy drinking, your vision is frequently blurred. There's nothing quite so "fun" as trying to work though a dark level filled with inky enemies when you can't see. Oh, I could just do that for hours.

The forensics are much improved, though. Not only do you have to figure out which tool to use yourself (ok, not hard, since there are only four of them) but you're also expected to answer specific questions. Upon discovering a body, for example, you'll be prompted to look for three clues to the person's identity, such as their clothing, their location, and so forth. Not quite CSI, but these segments are interesting, fun, and make a great break from the searching and fighting of the rest of the game.

Condemned 2 isn't a bad game, it's just not what I was hoping for. It's...well, it's ordinary.