Nintendogs can kiss my ass

My stepdog Roger passed away just before Christmas. I'd only known him for about a year, but he was the sort of dog you can't help but adore and I loved him very, very much. He was an old pooch, about 17 or so, and had been ill for quite a while, so while his passing was extremely sad, it wasn't entirely unexpected.

We grieved, we mourned, we said that someday, far in the future, we would get another dog. Apparently Superbowl Sunday is far in the future, because that's when we decided to bring home Alice the wonder dog.

Alice is a six month old lab/border collie mix that we adopted from the SPCA. She was horribly abused by her previous owner, but she's sweet, smart, and wants nothing more than to lick every square centimeter of your face. Impossible not to love her.

I've had many dogs over the course of my life, but I've never actually had a puppy before. That's ok, I thought, I've played Nintendogs! Clearly I have the requisite skill set necessary for tending to a pup!

Um, no.

She does not want to wear a rainbow afro wig. She does not want a bath. She does not go to sleep when I put on the special record. I also don't remember the Nintendogs nibbling on my fingers, chewing up my magazines (no, girl! Not this month's issue of Geek!), or being afraid of going bye bye in the car. In short, Nintendogs has left me ill prepared to care for this dog. I should sue.